Sunday, April 30, 2006


Tomorrow I will have two months in my archives. That's so exciting! I've written a lot and I am finding it very helpful. So I shall continue.

I miss my friend Rachel so much. She's been in Oxford all spring semester. She's going to be back in Maryland on May 12th. I still won't be able to see her, but she has Verizon, so atleast I'll be able to call.

I'm so glad she had the opportunity to go abroad, I'm sure there isn't anything like it, and next spring when I go, I'll be the happiest girl around, but I miss her so much it hurts. I know she has no idea that she's hurt me, nor is it her "fault." I would never blame her. But after spending a whole summer with someone and becoming so close, it physically hurts now. Then the hurt makes me mad and somewhat bitter. I have the most ridiculous thoughts, how can she go and not call, email, or write. (Her computer went to shit shortly after she got to England.) I'm so bitter that part of me doesn't even want to talk to her when she finally does get back. I feel like she abandoned me. I know this isn't about her at all, I'm sure there is something deep inside myself that I'm not fulfilling and I'm taking it out on Rachel and her absence, but I do want to talk to her and hangout and be Gettysburg friends again. So many great times: almost die every morning when we'd get up and run at 6am before going to the farm, hawk tickets for the worst ghost tours, laugh so hard because one or both of us farted, run around in the rain to lock up the barn, teasingly name each other's boobs after part of the battlefield, wear our headlamps outside at night to pee when our toliet didn't work. We were so ridiculous, but I feel like I'm not normal without it. The worst part is that I don't feel like I know her anymore, nor does she know me. I pray that it's not true, when she does get back she'll prove me wrong, I know she will, I hope she will.

I think this is why I don't open up to people, I don't know if I opened up to Rachel or if she willed her way inside of me not accepting my usually well constructed walls of defense. I know she'll always be with me, no matter where in the world either one of us is located. I just pray that things will go back to normal when she finally gets home safely. There is something special about that girl and I miss it.

Saturday, April 29, 2006


My mom is going to wear this dress (in a light green) to Katie's wedding!! She tried it on today when they BOUGHT Katie's wedding dress!! Katie was once again beautiful and my mom was the most adorable thing I have ever seen. She's such a tomboy. She never grew out of it.

I helped her put on the dresses and seeing her body, after not being home with her all the time and passing her taking a shower or whatever, she's so small and fragile. When you see someone almost naked, they are so vulnerable and so beautiful and pure. She has little stretch marks on her tummy, from giving birth, and I like that I was part of that, obviously Katie was too, but I was bigger, so I'm sure I left a few good marks.

Cindy came with my mom, she has two boys who are my sister and my ages. So she won't be able to go threw the wedding dress shopping thing with them. I'm really glad she came. Then the three of us moved a lot of my things and packed up the van so they could take it home. Cindy is under the bed putting a screw back in! She's so funny. She just crawled right under! Then we went to TIS and she bought her husband a "Ball U" shirt. haha.

I ate dinner with the couple that gives me a scholarship and the other two students that receive it. I thought it would be boring, but it really was so lovely. He picked us up and took us to their home. She made us lasagna. Soy lasagna for me, and even though that sounds gross, it was really really good. I felt like I was eating with the Eisenhower's. Their home was gorgeous and the other two students were so much fun to hang out with. It's amazing how much one essay from high school changed my life so much.

Today was a great day. The end.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Great, fabulous, terrific, wonderful day!

So today was the last day at Wilson Middle School and last day of classes! Great news in itself. But I also got to go to Stu-stock and get free food (thanks to great connections) and see the most beautiful Mackenzie Miller (who is in the green shirt in the picture with yours truly.) Then I went to the Hillel cookout, which I was dreading and thought would be stupid, but it wasn't it was sooo much fun and we laughed a lot. And Gerry APPLE is a funny kid. Finally, I went to the BC formal with a super friend (Eric, who's next to the hot girl in the pink dress!!) David and Christine were there and the gorgeous Miss Herrell!! Wonderful company all around. In Talley was the Gay Prom, so I got to see ever more friends there too!! Then my mom and Cindy came so I got some good lovin'!!

Now I'm a little tuckered out though and tomorrow we're doing another round of wedding dresses so I need my energy. Lyla tov.


False: With one of the mildest climates of any Canadian city, nearby Victoria hold the moniker. The capital of British Columbia is famous for its many parks and gardens, including the world renowned Butchart Gandens!!

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Pi Gamma Mu you need to brush up on your Bible stories, you should go to that link. I think it's entertaining.

I am president of Pi Gamma Mu now. We'll see how that goes or doesn't go, but I think it'll be fun.

My Rotary interview in Indianapolis is May 13th at 11:20...Isn't that a weird interview time? It doesn't matter! I'm so excited! I really might get to go to Israel and do a lot of philanthropic projects while I'm there!

Question of the day: True or False...The Canadian city Vancouver has the nickname "City of Gardens."
(I'll post the answer tomorrow!!)

War of 1812

My grandma got moved to a nursing home, which is a good sign. She isn't hooked up to machines and she's crazy as ever. But my dad said she has congestive heart failure, which I'm pretty sure means that her heart isn't strong enough to pump blood back to her heart. I think. I should probably google-it to make sure. So even if this colon thing gets better, she isn't going to really get better.

Yesterday I read a 219 page book before 6:30 pm. And yes, I did very well on the quiz. I'm going to really miss that class. Dr. Edmonds is an incredible professor, if only there were more like him.

Today I'm teaching, but have I written any lesson plans?? Nope!! I'm going to wing it. It'll be fun, it probably won't help my grade though!! Yesterday, a girl in my class gave me the best compliment.
Brittany: "Ms. Wiese, when are you going to teach again?"
Me: "Tomorrow and Friday, why?"
B: "Well, it's not that I don't like the other teacher, but I just understand more when you teach."
Me: "Oh, well, thanks, and yes, tomorrow."

I love it. Hopefully I don't screw up and break her little heart. (Because I'm sure it would break if she didn't completely and thoroughly understand the War of 1812!!!)

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Bulletin Board

I finally did my bulletin board today for my classroom at Wilson!! They have a lot of emotional problems so I did a bulletin board on feelings...aww! Yeah, I should have been a counselor! But teachers are counselors too, so I can always hold on to that.

Monday, April 24, 2006


I finished one Vietnam book (only one and half more to go).
I finished my online portfolio.
I finished my final project for EdFon!

Lots more to go, but baby steps to the end of finals week!

Sunday, April 23, 2006


I shouldn't write when I'm tired, because it'll probably be negative. But I am saddened when friends don't act like friends. Or are only "fare-weather" friends or when they need a favor. I'm more disappointed in myself for opening myself up to someone like that. I know I shouldn't be upset, because I definitely shut enough other people out. People that are probably great, terrific, could be awesome friends, yet I'll never know. I know everyone is raised differently and shows their affection in different ways, but nonetheless, it makes me sad. Maybe I'm a jerk and just want more attention then they can give.

Only about 450 more Vietnam pages to read before Wednesday. =)

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Dresses, dresses, and more dresses!

Katie and I went dress shopping today. She looked absolutely beautiful! She found a great dress in Indy, but we weren't allowed to take pictures, so we'll have to wait until the wedding for pictures or until we actually buy it.

This (the picture of me) is the dress that we liked for the bridesmaids. It's a really pretty spring color and it's close to the color Katie had in mind. It's weird to try on a dress that is made to have alterations made. The dresses were extremely long and cut in weird ways, but they're all still beautiful.

I put on the veils and Katie laughed at me. Hopefully I'll still be this gorgeous (kidding) when I'm 30, because we know I'm not getting married for a super duper long time.

I wonder when I'll come to the point and not be afraid of commitment. Will it be after I fulfilled half of the goals in my life? Will I get so lonely I'll just pretend that I don't mind commitment? Will I meet a man that I'll feel like I can't live without and then all my other fears will vanish? I think it's just romantic bull crap. No matter how much I want my prince charming to come and get me, I'd probably laugh in his face and send him off into the sunset while I sit alone being a sober virgin. At least I find myself to be good company, and history books keep me entertained as well.

Oh, I'm a mess.

Friday, April 21, 2006

How many licks does it take?

I got a star on my Tootsie Roll Pop!! That always makes me happy!

Today was my first Rotary meeting at 7am. It was fun, I met some great people and I learned a lot about what the organization is founded on. There was a Russian Rotary Club visiting, that was really awesome to see them. The application was personally delivered to Indy today by my advisor, so that's a big relief. Now...Vietnam reading! Three books in a week and quite a few essays. It's been an incredible class though, so I don't mind. Dr. Edmonds is a wonderful man.

I took cookies today for my class, because my prof's birthday was today. Everyone loved them! Tonight is Relay for Life and then the Late Nite Carnival! I love free things!! I hope I'll see every BSU student there! (Seriously though, it's the one thing most student looks forward to, being right before finals helps a lot too!)

Thursday, April 20, 2006

I love counseling!!!

Today I got to meet with Liz (my counselor) and I love her. We talked about how I love being independent and I hate not having control of my actions. How I can't be with my parents because I don't have any control and to get away I feel like I have to leave the country, Germany, Israel, etc. I love to travel anyways, and learn about other cultures, but I think it really does have a lot to do with getting away and being my own person. I just find it weird that I feel like I have to go across the globe to do it.

What's more interesting is how much I love and care about my parents and how much I care about what they think of me, my sister and Rick too actually, but I think I care so much that it henders my actions and thus I want to move away. Then if I do something they don't "approve" of, I'll be for enough away to not see them roll their eyes at my feeble attempt to be an adult. I don't mean to be critical, they're not really like that, it's just my perception of what they're like or what I fear most. I think my biggest fear is disappointing my family. That and not seeing the world. So I guess my fears drive me a lot!

DeAnna and Michael took my to Walmart, then I had hot chocolate, I bet I'm going to have to pee three times during the night! Oh, my mom said my grandmother is doing better, but who knows what that really means. But it's definitely a plus.

Rick's great advice of the day: Sometimes you got to eat the shit sandwich to get to dessert.

Seriously, I just want to do homework!

They made me retype everything, so a process that I thought was over last Friday, really took another 10 hours out of my week, 10 hours I usually spend on homework. That's what's exciting. I haven't done any homework really and I have to read two Vietnam books by next Wednesday, I know that's almost a whole week and I've read a lot more than that, but it's a tiny bit overwhelming to think about. One of the books is the picture, the other is actually about the Iraq War, but it's for my Vietnam War history class. Oh, the similarities!!

The book is actually quite good and well written, I'm only on chapter 4 or something, but she's definitely held my interest so far. Ok, back to the books.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006


They found the infection in my grandma, so they put a tube in to try to suck it out. Sounds great. They're giving her morphine like tylenol, but she really can't have a conversation. Not too good. Maybe the suction tube will do something. Really, this crap could last 6 months, or it could last 8 hours.

I met with my new Rotary advisor and she's a cute little lady. I have to have Shoshana tell them that I can read and write Hebrew, but can't speak it. It's more work, I thought I'd be done after turning it in last Monday, but no, it's back.

I'm really far behind in my Vietnam reading, things just keep coming up. I'll manage, always do.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Service Above Self

Just so everyone knows, the Rotary International motto is: Service Above Self. In 1985, Rotary made a historic commitment to immunize all of the world's children against polio. Working in partnership with nongovernmental organizations and national governments thorough its PolioPlus program, Rotary is the largest private-sector contributor to the global polio eradication campaign. Rotarians have mobilized hundreds of thousands of PolioPlus volunteers and have immunized more than one billion children worldwide.

They also have a 4 way test, which they contemplate before making any decisions.
4 way test:
1.) Is it the truth?
2.) Is it fair to all concerned?
3.) Will it build goodwill and better friendships?
4.) Will it be beneficial to all concerned?

This is all ever so important because I didn't know any of this before I was interviewed today!! Oops! But, somehow I must have charmed them anyways because I passed the first interview process and I get to have an interview in INDY!! Woo hoo!! I have to revise some of my application and turn it back in by Thursday so they can overnight it to the district office. I'll probably have my next interview that week.

The idea of studying in Israel is becoming so real now, I know I shouldn't get my hopes up, but I am. Gosh, it would be incredible. To top it all off, I get to go to the 7am Rotary Club meeting this seriously, it's at 7am.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Banana Bread

Besides having to write a paper that I have procrastinated on for some time, today was great! I watched Sunday Morning, only the best TV show next to Oprah!!! Worked on my paper, talked to my parents, and went to Katie's for Easter dinner with her and Rick. She made banana bread, which was simply delightful, I could have eaten the whole loaf. Maybe it was just that good because it was Easter, or maybe because I haven't had it in a really long time. I had a little bite of chocolate, which really wasn't exciting, and a little ice cream. It was good, but now I think my stomach is hurting from it. (Or all the other food I ate!!) Katie made me vegetables, which were really good too, I think she just cooked 'em in a little salad dressing, but it wasn't dorm food and it was great company which always makes everything taste better!

Rick was a little sick and had a runny nose, but I think he was feeling better towards the end. He was reading Katie's old journal thing. That way he read it was hilarious, I've never met anyone who could make fun/tease her so much and not get in trouble. Maybe that's what love is all about and why they're getting married.

Tomorrow is a big day. It's the first day I'm teaching the middle school class at Wilson, I'm bringing in matza for them to try (this has nothing to do with the actual lesson which is over the founding period and the shaping of the nation.) Then I have geography, followed by the Rotary interview, and then a meeting with the chair of the history department who will hopefully be my thesis advisor, then night class where I turn in my sociology of religions paper. I'm excited, but exhausted just thinking about it.

Just a random thought: The picture is of Snowdonia, which is in Wales. I think I could live there in a little cottage, I'm sure there is a golf course nearby. That would be plenty.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Ultimate Showdown - This is rather entertaining. A little violent for my tastes, but nonetheless humorous.

I don't think anyone is born evil. But I do feel badly for the ones that were raised and became assholes. It wasn't their fault. I doubt they even know they're assholes, let alone want to fix being one. I don't have an example, well I do, but I don't want to share it.

I got to go shopping today with Katie, which was great and I think I get to have Easter dinner with her and Rick, and Katie's cooking =) It's always exciting because she picks something new to make every time. I like it, it's an adventure and she's making banana bread. Obviously I'm excited about the whole thing.

Happy Easter, chocolate and ice cream tomorrow!! Maybe we'll dye eggs at Katie's...I should have asked today when we were out. Oops!!

Friday, April 14, 2006

Mr. Darcy

Even though Nelly says, "Katie, I can see her with a man. You...I see you with a suitcase." I still want to find my Mr. Darcy. I will never trade in my suitcase though. In fact instead of an engagement ring, I'd be happy with matching luggage. It's so wonderfully tacky and yet it's a beautiful thought to me.

I've always wondered what Mary Poppins' tape measure would have said when she measured me. Something like, "Means well, but extremely opinionated and stubborn, in reality quite shy." Other than becoming my sister, my goal growing up was to be Mary Poppins or "Practically perfect in every way." Now that it's happened, I'll have to get a new goal! (JK, JK!!) Really though, she is a great role model and though I tease about it, other than my mom and sister, I'd probably want to be her next.

I gave up ice cream and chocolate for Lent, so I'm pumped that Easter is almost here. It really went fast and I didn't miss it really. Which is strange, I thought I'd be dying for it by now. Maybe that's the point, to realize that you don't "need" anything. That pleasure can always be substituted. I'm sure the point is suppose to be something more along the lines of "sacrifice is beneficial because one's suppose to realize what Jesus went through," but obviously that doesn't strike me the same way it might others. For those that do celebrate Easter, I hope you have a splendid holiday filled with joy, love, family, and G-d. I think that's what Christianity is suppose to be about.

Happy Good Friday!

Do people really say that? First, it sounds weird, and secondly, it's not happy, it's the day Jesus was executed.

Did you know this: This Christian holiday marks the execution of Jesus, so why call it “good”? Theologians’ best guess is that the name is derived from “God’s Friday” (the same way “good-bye” came from “God be with ye”). In some countries Good Friday is known as Long Friday, Silent Friday, or Holy Friday. *

I love history. Who knew that's why people say good-bye. I think I'll start saying see you later instead. All the atheists say good-bye and they don't even know!! Maybe I'm the only one who gets excited about things like that.

And seriously, don't I have the most beautiful sister you have ever seen?

*Compliments of my daily calendar!

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Chag Sameach!

Today was great. (Well, I think that's a lie, but I'm trying to be positive.) I ran this morning with Jackson, it was sunny, warm, and beautiful. I showered, went to my grandpa's to tell him the news about last night. Continued to school to talk to sensei and my other favorite high school teacher. I don't like seeing the teachers I didn't like though, it's just awkward and I always think "did they know I couldn't stand them?" Not that it really matters now though.

Then, dreaded room 5 in the east wing of the ICU. I was by myself, which is rather more intimidating. I wanted to eat so I wouldn't have to face the fear of going in the room, but there was only chocolate, and I gave it up for Lent. No roommate, just a bed in the mist of bags full of fluid and beeping numerated machines. I didn't want to touch her, I just looked, stared really. Her wrinkles were so evident, and her dentures were out so when she breathed in, she lips really went into her mouth and when she exhaled, she'd blow them out until they parted just enough to let the hair flow. Ellen walked in and woke her up, asking how she felt and if she needed anything. The doctor wouldn't be in until the evening. She wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything. They were just pumping in antibiotics and monitoring her closely. I wanted more information, but I knew Ellen didn't have anything else to offer. She told me I could pull up a chair, but I didn't want to sit. Really, strange perhaps, I wanted to take her picture. So vulnerable. I didn't stay long, she was sleeping mostly. I didn't cry. I held it in.

We left for Seder before 3, stopped to pee at the Hinsdale Oasis. I have the smallest bladder, I'm sure I have to pee more than anyone I've ever met; except babies, they pee an awful lot. We got there an hour early, and started an hour and a half late. (Gotta love Jewish time.) The matzah was late, so the show couldn't go on. The Seder went swimmingly. Once it started it was really fast. We did pictures after dinner, like always.

My grandmother was at her utmost annoyance.
Grandma: "Andrea, come talk to me."
Andrea: "Okay."
G: "How's school?"
A: "It's going well, almost over."
G: "Did you hear I'm retiring? I'm so excited, my last day is May 2nd, then I'll have to get another job, I couldn't possibly just sit at home, I don't know what I'd do with myself."
A: "I'm sure you'll find something."
G: "Oh yes, I'm sure, at least I won't have to work 6 days a week for a horrible boss who doesn't appreciate anyone...So what do you think of my news...."
G: "Andrea, we haven't talked at all. Why haven't you talked to me?"
A: "Because you don't listen."
...That shut up her.

When we left she told me she enjoyed my company even though we didn't get to talk much. I didn't know what she meant, because she didn't let me say a word the whole night. She talked a lot, I just listened. Maybe that's what good granddaughters are suppose to do. I wished her a happy Passover, "Chag Sameach." She likes when I say the few Hebrew words I know. I think she believes I'm more Jewish than I am when I speak Hebrew.

My mom and I had a great heart to heart on the drive home. I love her. I want to be just like her. I would be proud if I turned out like her...even just a little.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Mitzvahs from sad circumstances.

A mitzvah is a Jewish (or Hebrew really) term for a good deed, or a kind gesture, or volunteering. When you help an old lady carry her groceries, it's a mitzvah. I think you get it. Well, after I came home, it was one mitzvah after the next, but they were all in the face of illness.

I went to see my grandpa next store right when I got home, and he told me my grandma went into the hospital last night. Even though he was in good spirits, I could tell he was worried. Something about her colon. I ate the last lemon cookie. If something happens to my grandma, it could be the last cookie of hers I will ever eat. I love her cookies, especially at Christmas.

I went to Nelly's, my 80ish year old neighbor, who loves me so much and might as well be my grandma, for goodness sakes, I call her Nana. She gave me a necklace, of the Star of David. She had wanted to get me one for almost a year, and she finally had my mom buy one and let her give it to me. It's small, and had a light pink stone, it's beautiful. Nelly is beautiful. She's saving money so she can buy her ticket to Germany so my mom can take her when I'm student teaching there next spring, that's the cutest thing I have ever heard. I can't wait for their visit and I'm not even there yet!

I had to go see my grandma, but my dad didn't want to. So as I was leaving for the hospital, my mom said she was go with me. We chatted the whole way, I love talking to my mom, maybe more than anything I can think of right now. I love sleeping with my head on her stomach. When we got there, my grandma looked terrible. Her hair was matted down from sleep, no glasses, little moaning, in a daze, IV, bruises on her arms. I held her hand, she really didn't want to talk. She didn't want visitors or phone calls. She was in a lot of pain and it was hard to watch. My whole life she's been a feisty, sassy, controlling bitch. I love it. I'm similar and I'm proud of being like her, but this helpless state was so out of the norm. She said, "I think you have a scream and yell around here for anyone to know you're in pain." I just replied, "Well, grandma, that's really not your style." and she agreed. The doctor told her a lot of what was happening and she could go to ICU or have surgery. Of course she chose ICU, it really was the best decision for tonight.

Then to my horror, the doctor asked what he should do if her heart stopped over night, or if her blood pressure rose. She said don't do anything. I knew that would be her answer, but I didn't think things were that serious. I just tried to breathe, but that proved difficult. The doctor left and I asked her about her Last Rights. I don't know anything about it, it's a Catholic thing, but I remember my dad telling me something about it. She said grandpa should call the priest from St. Pats, that's who she wanted if something happened, I was relieved to know, really I didn't want her to have to worry about anything like that. After a kiss goodbye, I was standing in the hall waiting for my mom. The tears just started streaming down my face. I really couldn't stop. My mom came and gave her "baby girl" a hug and giggled at me for crying. I don't cry, my family doesn't cry, we don't cry, but I was crying, the sooner I would stop the better.

Nelly called after we had been home for an hour or so. Grace, the older lady that lives with her had fallen. My mom and I went to help her get up. Another scary moment. She was bleeding, but I'm not sure from where, but there was blood on the floor. She was in bed, and I just wanted to leave. I kissed Nelly goodbye, out the door, my mom and I both said..."too many mitzvahs for one day."


First, this is my beautiful sister and my ever so handsome nephew in-law. I haven't met him yet though and I'm getting anxious!

Around 3:45 today I'm leaving on my little road trip home. I'm pumped to see my parents, grandparents, and of course, Nelly. Then tomorrow we're driving to Chicago to go to Seder and I'll see the WHOLE family, all 120ish of them. My grandma will try to touch my face and physically pull me along with her. My aunt will want to hear about boys, classes, my other activities. Everyone will call me Katie or Paula. I know it sounds thrilling, but I always get really stressed about the behaviors of my parents and their interactions and I usually I am put in the role of the mediator. Then to not think about it, I just eat, and I usually end up making myself sick.

So I talked to my counselor about it and I talked to my dad. He usually understands my behaviors and motives so I felt comfortable and we're going to work on him not getting pissed off and I'm going to not put myself between their ridiculous bickering. Seder is suppose to be a celebration of the Jews Exodus from Egypt, but to me it's a clash of personality in a place I can't remove myself from. So this year, it's not going to happen and I'm going to enjoy the time with my family and G-d and at the end when they say "Next year in Jerusalem," could be true for me! Now, that's an exciting thought if I ever heard one.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Boys, boys, and more boys...

I really don't know what it is with this semester, but it's just been one boy after the next. Don't get me wrong, I love boys (or men, whatever) but it's a heavy flow, and not a stream, I'm talking the Colorado River before it was dammed. I can't really keep up. There are some I like more than others, but they're all cute and hilarious.
I'm humored when they stop liking me, not because I'm full of myself and everyone should like me, but because of their reasoning. Sometimes I'm not so nice, or religion (my favorite), or because I won't sleep with them, or we just don't have anything in common, or their roommates smoke more pot than can be harvested. Whatever the reason, I usually just laugh, because that's what I do for any emotion I'm feeling. I know that no matter how "great" they are, someone out there will be better because my husband is going to be incredible and that makes me happy to think about.

On a different note, I turned in my Rotary Scholarship today, and it was a huge weight off my shoulders, I want to go to Israel....real bad. It's weird to think that the 20 pages I turned in today can change my whole life. It's a hard concept to wrap my mind around. Only one other person turned an application into the local club, and if I "beat" them out, I'll have another interview at the district level. If I pass at the district level, I get to go, that simple. They'll pay up to $26,000 for me to study at the Ben Gurion University in the Negev for a year, and I'll get my Masters in Middle East studies, gosh, look at the picture.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Losing my "blog" virginity.

I met a really awesome kid at the conference I went to in Toledo. He told me I should keep a journal, like a hundred other people I have met in the past, but this time I decided I would listen. Listening isn't really my style, but in the past I never did it because I hated my handwriting and I would write in bed and it was uncomfortable. Since I'm addicted to my computer anyways, I thought I'd give it a try.

I've never done this, but I've thought about it. Would people like what I wrote, would I let everyone read it, are my thoughts too personal for the web? I feel like I'm giving away my virginity. Obviously I control what I write, but there is nothing keep the outside world out anymore and I like the world to stay out of my life. It's safer that way, like not having sex is safer too. I can't get hurt.

This conference, although full of nerds, (honestly, it was for honors college kids) was incredibly entertaining. I mostly humored myself, but I met some awesome new friends that helped too. I went to the Toledo Art Museum, socialized with the guards, of course. My two friends and I went to the Mud Hens (minor league baseball team in Toledo) and after being told we could not go in by the ticket sales lady, we proceeded to get a personal tour of the entire park by Roger, a friendly usher that happened to walk by us in the gift shop. I am convinced, especially after this weekend, that a smile...or boobs go a long way.