Thursday, October 09, 2008

Yom Kippur

Today was rough, there is still an hour to go of fasting.  But an hour is short really, relatively speaking, when I think about sunset to sunset.  I have never really understood or felt the purpose of cleansing before or truly asking G-d for forgiveness and atonement.  I think I have a very different perspective this year.  I'm not sure if the actual day is important, I am sure I could do this anytime I wanted and G-d would accept it and pay attention.  But I am grateful I get to fast, that I have to stop and look at my sins and see them and regret for them wholeheartedly.  I get to ask G-d for forgive and want to never commit those sins against other people, myself, or G-d again. 

Although anyone who really knows me, knows I am really sensitive, I shut off my feelings to other people for so long. I felt like an emtional void sometimes. I would say the feeling wasn't important or wasn't real, but now I want to feel. Now, I even want to feel the hunger.  Because as I was told, all feelings are needs and no feeling should be denied. 

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